Building Community: Baltimore Mothers Share 5 Personal Insights
/Black mothers who are active in community building throughout Baltimore gathered at the Black Genius Art Show Gallery for an evening of authentic conversation and connection. The networking event was presented by the Baltimore Family Alliance and hosted by Audacity Group.
During the discussion, stories were shared and five common themes were revealed.
WHAT IS IN A NAME?
When speaking with Black Women it is better to frame your question as “What don’t you do?” versus “What do you do?”
A Black Woman being asked to summarize her infinite talents, gifts, and abilities into a single job title is difficult and a little insulting.
In the room it became dizzying listening to women list their responsibilities. “I’m a mother, wife, consultant, writer and designer, a shop owner, a creative artist, the CEO of a small business, and the Executive Director of a non-profit.” How do you title that?
Yet, during the event, through conversation and connection, attendees began celebrating their collective empowerment. Instead of labeling themselves, the women grew resolute in their unique human design and it was up to the world to catch up.
I’M NOT WRONG. I’M EARLY.
It is not uncommon for a Black Woman to have a “seat at the table” and still struggle to have their voice heard in white-dominant spaces.
Black Women are so often the only ones willing to stand up and “call people out” when necessary. This is why the stakes for Black Women in the workplace are so much higher.
The group discussed the challenge of addressing equity and inclusion in overwhelmingly white spaces where there is a lack of empathy or lived experience.
The women encouraged each other to remain resolute in their convictions. And, they acknowledged their collective strength and compassion to mobilize and support one another.
LEARNED BEHAVIOR
The pressure and anxiety that Black Women feel in their adult lives are due in part to behaviors that were learned at an early age and then processed over time.
When addressing “mental health”, the women celebrated the positive change in perception within the African American community.
In an effort to break generational curses, attendees shared revelations they’ve made along their “Therapy Journey”.
The discussions were overlaid with common themes of a childhood where they each “wanted to please”, “keep the peace” and “be the person you can count on”.
Now with new clarity, the group discussed their process of “unlearning behaviors” in an effort to be the true essence of who they were meant to be.
SETTING BOUNDARIES & EXPECTATIONS
Black Women are applauded for our resilience and strength. But, in order to give ourselves grace and the space we need for self-care, it is necessary to apply boundaries.
There was general agreement that by nature Black Women are some of the most supportive, nurturing, and giving individuals. But, the women discussed how this ongoing “pouring” nature could lead to feelings of being taken for granted or taken advantage of.
Following the path of “Unlearning Behaviors,” the women discussed the courage that comes with defining, setting, and holding to your lines.
Rest vs. Restoration
Between micro- and macro-aggressions at work, schools, and every other room a Black Woman walks into, structural racism and sexism contribute to their overall low health outcomes.
It was discussed that though the word “strong” is used with good intentions, Black Women are struggling to prioritize their physical and mental wellness.
The group shared the common misconception of a Black Woman’s strength. Strength does not mean putting others before self, suppressing emotions to appease others, resisting vulnerability, and striving for success instead of resting.
The common connection empowered the group to dive deeper into mental and physical health and the opposing role that utility and purpose can play when pursuing better balance.
Self-Care for Black Women: 150 Ways to Radically Accept & Prioritize Your Mind, Body, & Soul, by Oludara Adeeyo
Dear Black Women: Affirmations, Questions, & Apologies You May Not Have Heard, by Jewel Guy
Not Without Black Women: Original Poems by Rebecca Dupas